I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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