This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
