your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
