who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
