Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
