she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
