32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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