I want to walk on stilts...naked
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
