I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Damn victory sex feels great
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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