Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
