Rock
Scissors
Fuck
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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