i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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