Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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