I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
