Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
