you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
