I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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