umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
