Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You smell like stripper and shame
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
