Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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