I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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