i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
