Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
