Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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