Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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