I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
