In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
