What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
