Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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