he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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