So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
