I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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