Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
