If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
