I didn't shave. On purpose
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
