If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
