Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
