So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
