thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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