oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
