oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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