I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
