too bad you live with your parents still
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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