Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
