When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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