Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
