Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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