Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
