it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
