how can u be prego again
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
