Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
