you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
