Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
