No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
