So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
